composer

I like to write, though I don’t do it very often. But when I do, I might write long texts. Keep in mind that this section of the website is a personal blog. This post is mainly about myself (though it might be useful to others as a motivational thing), so this may be boring to you.

After a long time suffering in my own thoughts and practicings, I guess I finally found the key to my personal discipline, which will help me a lot to build my career as freelance composer. And this is the reason I’m writing this post. Since my memory isn’t one of the bests and I may fall into the same pit of delusion again, I want to register this thoughts to keep myself motivated in the long road I have ahead. I would be glad if this also served someone else, but I know the world is full of very distinct minds, and my problems PROBABLY aren’t even close to yours.

Before and when I oficially started my freelancer career, I was aware of the long, LONG road I have to run before reaching something you may call “success”, or “satisfaction”. I talked to some great composers, clarified LOTS of questions I had (and I still have LOTS of them). And if you’re starting your career, you should consider talking to people who already work in the composition industry, as well. That really should help a lot.
I did most possibly mental preparings for the difficulties I should reach in this path until I find myself starting to be satisfied with my results. Many, many mental preparings.

And at the end… Bingo. Ironically, that was the biggest problem: Thinking TOO MUCH.

New York City Night - Street in the Financial District

I can say I spent many, many hours doing nothing productive, when I could be practicing my skills. Either I was playing something, analyzing and reanalyzing some composer’s creations or I was just planning what I would do of useful.
The problem is, I would always start planning, planning, and planning… And then other thoughts would always come into my mind. Thoughts that would bring me to the same final decision: “I won’t practice right now; I’m not in the mood, and besides, it will be useless, since I don’t know where to start, or how to proceed.” That was the killing part.
Again, I literally caught myself several times spending hours just sitting down and planning what I would do next to improve my skills. I even spent hours trying to figure out how to get rid of this mental block, but at the end, I would always do nothing.

Perhaps, these thoughts made my journey-to-the-I-don’t-know even harder. Perhaps everyone have these same problems. I don’t know.
It’s funny that I am very, VERY patient. I’m good at teaching people; I know how to explain things in a easy way that makes sense. I’m good to work in a tight schedule, and when I’m responsible for part of someone’s project, I can make sure I’ll take a good care of it. But when it comes to teaching myself, building something for myself, that’s when some of the mental block comes in. That was part of my desmotivation. But finally, it’s funny to find that the main key to avoid my mental block is my own mind. I just need to stop thinking too much and just do the work. No expectations. Kinda like a soldier, maybe?
Luckly for me, that’s the easy part. Once I got the instructions, I can follow them up easily.

The journey is long, but I’m (mentally) prepared to it.
Good luck in yours,

Adrian